Ok, hum, so, some rambling first, stay with me in essence, this shit is not going to last long, I just need to write something to have something to write about. Meta-programming of the small neurons in my brain, and by that authority, I'll be able to rant about things.......and that goddamned screwy shyster bastard G is not up to the task at all. Infact, he said he is "re-doing our couch". I sincerely hope, for the best of G, that he has his things straighten out. You can make your wife or girlfriend do the fucking couch, but even in that case, what's the fucking point? Ok, this is coming from a colour blind asshole who has no sense of aesthetics and generally likes to think that people with a pair should either act like they had them, or check them in at the reception. For fucks sake, who the hell re-does a couch in the first place? Fuck, that's so sweet that I think I just got a fucking insulin shock or something. So I have the thesis: real men don't re-do couches. Infact, prior to this incident, I was fairly sure no real man would ever do a couch, so either G is on a touchy feel kind of spree and wants to share all the sick shit he does with somebody, that being me, or he has really gotten rid of his pair. I like to think that he has simply lost it, much easier to integrate things down to a level that is discrete in it's essential points. Oh well.

I need to have a catharsis, but there is no one listening in on me, and the things I would say would scare the shit out of anybody, and they'd probably report me to the authorities, and so on. Hell, I've lost my respect for the psychiatric people in essence, after an incident where this rat bastard psychiatrist reported me to the fucking police. I shit you now. The police just told him that, atleast back then, there was no conception of crimethink, that is, it's not illegal to plan things, but it's illegal to do something, so, the police told the psycho that he can have his fucking report, and shove it. And that's where I gained a lot of trust in the police of this country. They are generally ok, I guess, they don't abuse their powers too much, and so forth. But but, hmm. The conception of crimethink is an interesting one. I'm not fully sure how I'm going to approach the issue, in essential terms, but we've had these school shootings in Finland, and I have but the deepest contempt against the fucking animals that did those deeds. It's not a question about whether or not planning something is illegal to begin with, it's more of a question, I'm left to believe, that there are some fuck heads who would have been better of aborted back in the day, atleast that would have saved lives. But they weren't aborted, and they were chickenshit cowards enough to fucking shoot themselves after the deed. So, there are some cases of what would probably seem like crimethink, but it's not the conception in essential terms, it's more of a question of these stupid fucks making threats towards schools. I hear there is a fucking epidemic of this kind of behaviour. So, what are we supposed to do? I mean if some jerk makes a video where he threatens to kill people, something must be done, or that would be gross negligence from the part of the fucking authorities. You simply can't be too idealistic in these cases. Sending these idiots off to a psychiatric prison is a little bit harsh, and does infact hurt my sense of justice. They should stand infront of a court, and have the law dictate what is done to them.

Meanwhile in here, the courts gave something like 6,5 years worth of jail time and a 4,5 million euro bill to some fucking idiot who burned down an old church some long time ago. Ok, I'm not for burning down churches, but 4,5 million euros. There are cases where a 9 year old has been raped, and then awarded with 9000 euros worth of money for the pain that is most likely going to go on for all her life, and this fucker didn't even hurt anyone, and he gets 1) a longer sentence than a first-time murderer gets in Finland (I'm not shitting you) and 2) has to theoretically pays more money than the fucking lottery last week did award some fuckers. Justice is a strange thing.

So, the conception behind the score, that distinctive thing that we do, and that we are paid to do in essence, it's starting out to be a discrete thing, no matter which way we do look at the thing. Ofcourse, granted, the few things that we are after are more screen space, and more terminals open in them, to conceptualize things far better, and so on. I'm not sure yet what I'll do with the extreme machine in essence, since it's a thing that is just going to be a discrete thing in essence. The extreme machine will work as my reverse engineering thing in essence, something that I'm looking for in essential terms, since I like reverse engineering things. Uhm, not because I'm sinister, or evil or want to publish whatever there is to publish to the good people of the internet, I guess that's not just the point, but still, I'm left to believe in some conceptions. There are some things that I'm bound to be doing, and while I'm left dealing with the things, there is a discrete, yet highly amicable stance behind all of the things in some way.

The extreme machine is either way going to be fairly well endowed, if you allow such an statement in essential terms. I'm going to push things forward with a speed that is highly amicable, and more so, strict to the point. Oh well.

I don't like caffeine anymore, it just nowadays gives me a fucking nausea, and won't even work to reduce any kind of fatigue. I need something stronger, I just don't know what, and where to get it. Is the conception behind uppers in essence, for example cocaine, and the chemically very similar drug, Ritalin, that is essentially an upper in the sense that you get more alert, it's easier to concentrate, you endure longer, and so forward. Ritalin and cocaine work the same chemical paths in the brain, so much I'm sure of, so, am I left to believe that a good old cocaine binge would make me more productive in some sense? Or maybe I could get the essential legal version of cocaine, Ritalin. Infact, I don't have right now the powers to examine the whole thing in essence, but still, these things are interesting to me. Paul Erdös, the famous mathematican of the 20th century, he used caffeine a lot, and then later on amphetamines. I noted about this to somebody on IRC a long time ago, and the response I got was that amphetamines also cause psychosis. I don't know why it was relevant to state such a thing, or even, why would that matter? I mean people who don't have gone through psychosis in their lives are willing to admit that just about whatever causes psychosis, but they have next to no fucking understanding about the mental state in essential terms. This is like the stance on drugs, drugs are bad. Nothing more is needed to be said, since it's almost obvious, drugs cause only problems. This is ofcourse the viewpoint that certain organizations would like to push onto everybody, but the coin has another side as well. Not all drug use is abuse, mind you. Oh and it has probably been showed that people bound to have psychotic episodes will get it from fucking drinking grape fruit juice. Then there are persons who are not bound to get psychosis, and they just won't get it, no matter what. I have the feeling that in general terms, people are very anal about things they do not understand. Well, I know what the fuck I'm talking about in some contexts. Let's discuss psychedelics. I know a shitload about them, and I have my own experiences with Ayahuasca, DXM, LSD, MDMA, and a few other chemicals. I don't care enough about your approval of these chemicals, and the usages thereof, it's a personal thing, if you can't handle it, go fuck yourself. I don't want to hear about your fucking problems with imaginary things. Oh well, let's see shall we, maybe I could be bound to be using amphetamines as well, but there are other things that I would like to try out, like modafinil, that is Provigil in the states, I don't know what they sell it as around here, but the whole thing is that I would like to have the stuff. Just to scale better, and more, and so forth. I haven't tried amphetamines ever, and if I did, I would like to have something secure like medical pills of amphetamines, like dextro-amphetamine, to know exactly what I'm taking, and how much.